So I just cracked open this autobiography and it’s really cool. I was flung into the world of sex drugs and impulse. To give a bit of background Anthony Kiedis is the lead vocalist of the ‘Red Hot Chili Peppers’, and like any other rock group member he’s down to live life hardcore, I’m talking about shooting up, crazy drug deals and near death stunts. The book also has a softer side, talking about his beginnings, even as early on as his conception. Tony not only talks about his experiences, but he almost adds annotations to his own story through this reflection. It is a pretty thick book but I haven’t been able to put it down, there is just this perfect mix of voices, one that is very knowledgeable due to age, and the other that exemplifies his expression of total indifference to the world’s judgment and expectations. What really caught my eye though was just on the first couple of pages, it was just this one line: “But it seems clear to me that on some level spirits choose their parents.”
At first this made complete and total sense to me because of course in some ways we choose our parents, they have qualities that we wish to possess. Then, I realized that we only want to have these characteristics because they are those that come from people who raised us and love us, so really we don’t choose our parents, they choose us. I mean if our parents weren’t the ones who raised us, who taught us what we know, would we be the same? I think, to answer my own question that no, no we wouldn’t be the same. Would I be me if my mom and dad not raise me? I would have the same genetics and the same brain. But, would the same aspects of life be preached to me or hidden from me, my boundaries and opportunities would be altered. Although I feel that my parents do affect my identity I feel conflicted to say that I would be a completely different person since I don’t know any other way of my existence besides the one I am currently living.
Tony talks about how much he was moved around as a kid, how much he was exposed to the free world of hippies as well as the regulations of a frustrated mother who gave up her dreams to support her child. The divergent worlds did in some ways splice together his personality as well as his addiction to an unstable lifestyle; yet even after escaping his parents and being influence by other figures Kiedis was still himself.
Aren’t we hardwired to have personalities and flaws? Maybe parents just highlight some features and dim down others. Is our personality really based off of how we were raised, or are we just who we are?
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