Scar tissue # 6

            So for all of these posts I have looked at the book through Tony’s perspective, but I mean really who could blame me? The book IS an autobiography, so of course I would pick up on how TONY feels and what TONY is going through. I realized this week that the other people in his life, especially his friends, their lives were rearranged by his decisions too. I mean I knew this all along that we all affect each other, but not to the point that I just came to. 

            One person who I recognized while reading was Flea. For the first time ever reading this book I saw how much pain Tony’s addiction puts Flea through. It’s crazy to think about if I ever had a friend battling with serious drugs, and what I would do. I don’t really think I would just sit on the bench and allow my friend’s life to plummet sort of like what Flea is doing, but on the other hand Flea has no control over Anthony’s decisions or life style he has no power or really any justification for his actions besides that he wants to see his friend live. Isn’t that justification enough though? But, who am I to judge Flea or Tony, or their friendship, like I said I have never been in their situation.

            When is it Okay to judge someone? When is it EVER okay to allow yourself to intercept with someone else’s life or the decisions they make unless they ask you to part take, in which case I believe you have the right to speak your mind. Judgment means the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions, and an opinion. Even though it’s not always right or fair we all judge each other every day. It’s almost impossible to be impartial with people, when you are a person because we ALL have emotions, we all have thoughts and independent voices, which can’t help but affect how we perceive someone or their actions.

            Flea and Anthony are constantly being ridiculed and viewed as rejects and lowlifes because of their appearance and drug use. These accusations are not uncalled for, but that’s not the whole picture because NOBODY is who you see them as being in one moment or meeting or outfit or choice. There is a greater meaning in our day to day behavior because all of the things we do stack up to who we become, and when someone judges Tony because his hair is a mess or his arms have needle marks, they only see one part. Flea sees a lot of the sides of Tony, yet he still judges his friend.

            Are we allowed to judge someone if we disagree with them? Is it more accepted if our judgments are positive. Such as if when I first meet someone and I think they are brilliant; that is a judgment, but it’s not hurtful, is this more commonly thought by society to be okay? When can we judge people?

Scar Tissue # 5

     I was really happy earlier this week while reading because I finally found that shift I was looking for, he finally hit so low in his life and addiction that he realized something needed to change, so he went back to his mom to sober up and get his life back together. I was then later disappointed to find out that as soon as he started the band again he was back to doing hardcore drugs, even worse this time. What is it about hitting rock bottom that makes people in general realize that they need to change? Aren’t they in a bit too deep to dig themselves out at this point? Yet people still manage to get through it. On that way down to the worst possible situation it seems that it is almost like one of those slides at amusement parks. The walls are smooth and you can’t turn back.  It’s scary and exciting and dangerous all at the same time, but after a while you feel like you’re not in control, and there is no way to stop until you reach the end.  

Anthony’s music and life with his friends revolve around drugs because their songs and lives are about drugs. One cannot be without the other, yet they are doing wonderfully so there seems no reason to stop. Throughout this all, there three voices in Tony’s writing, one from the past, one from the present and one from the future, all shooting out different opinions about the same event. The future perspective recognizes the mistakes, while the past admires the raw power Kiedis gives off; the present takes things for their face value, trying to make the best out of the situation and not be ashamed. Maybe Tony feels like he needs to represent all sides of himself because he’s embarassed of what he did, but he wants to be made an example of by showing how strong he has become, how many addictions he has defeated.

            It’s hard to pin point how someone exactly ends up on that slide, but I think once you get there nowhere else seems as good. I think our life is made up of different addictions, some shorter than others and some that last a lifetime. Now most people wouldn’t classify an interest or passion as and addiction, but I believe that an addiction is when you feel like you HAVE TO do something and you can’t live without it. In that sense I think that life is full of addictions and some of them lead you to a better place, while others just get you lost until you feel like you’ll never be found.

            I think its hard to write about your own life because you force yourself to bring up memories your not proud of, moments you don’t want to remember; all in the sake of being seen, being read, being understood.

            Perhaps on a bigger level this book was written as a step to forgiving himself, releasing his anger with his own behavior, and seeing the light at the end of his struggle.

Scar tissue #4

Scar Tissue has just become one of those books that I am completely absorbed in. The song “Scar Tissue” is now permanently stuck in my head because every time I take out the book the title immediately makes me think of the band’s song. Speaking of the band I find it fascinating to watch their musical style develop and change throughout the course of Anthony’s life and battle with drugs. His addiction directly impacts the amount the group practices and their overall functionality.  I started youtubing some of their earlier shows to get a feel of what their energy was on stage, and the image they were projecting as constantly described in the book.

It’s actually really interesting to see the parallels and HUGE differences between their current and more dated songs. They almost had a fast paced hip-hop feel with all of their crazy clothes and insane behavior mostly due to Cocaine. The audience seemed buzzed and excited in the videos and the whole band was soaking up the vibe. They were constantly doing Coke on the road, always to get a buzz to perform, always relaxed and living life with a “Hakuna Matata” attitude. Everything is just a stage for Tony to perform on, and he’s loving the spotlight. As I reader I began to pick up on his swift decline downhill into the deep pockets of addiction and dependency as depicted in this section of the book. It is sad watching him struggle to stay above water, knowing that he can’t live without his fix, but he also feels that he must put other things before drugs.

This got me wondering why it’s so hard to break addictions, why it’s so hard to change your style completely; with anything in life, drugs, music, eating habits. Somewhere in the book I feel like there is going to be a click, a slide into a new aura of music and a new approach on life because it’s a book. I know that in life things don’t change by themselves. There has to be a force behind what people do, and sometimes what they don’t do. Kiedis’ constant need makes him look vulnerable and conniving in the book. A part of me hates him for almost quitting on his dreams due to Heroin and Cocaine , and another part of me feels bad for him because I recognize his weakness, his want to fill the empty void inside of him.

There is a saying that ‘People never change’ and I think that this is true because no matter what group or situation you are put in you are always you. I think we, as a civilization, are constantly trying to find who we are, but our core values and qualities are never shaken, we always maintain a steady knowledge of how we feel about things and people, nobody can change our sensitivity to the world. We are always going to have the same characteristics, I just think that we sometimes chose to mask and conceal parts of our identities to force ourselves into a certain category or state of being.

Perhaps the change in music and dependency I am waiting on in the book relate to Tony’s  self constraint and acceptance to change. When it comes to the band or how much coke he does, he is never willing to change. I think that in both the book and life people end up running into problems because they are not willing to admit that they were wrong, and their stubborn ways lead to only dead ends.

                  Then again, drugs are drugs, and they mess with your mind and body so you aren’t always you when your high so part of his addiction could be linked to his brain, and you can’t control your bodies wants.