Scar tissue #4

Scar Tissue has just become one of those books that I am completely absorbed in. The song “Scar Tissue” is now permanently stuck in my head because every time I take out the book the title immediately makes me think of the band’s song. Speaking of the band I find it fascinating to watch their musical style develop and change throughout the course of Anthony’s life and battle with drugs. His addiction directly impacts the amount the group practices and their overall functionality.  I started youtubing some of their earlier shows to get a feel of what their energy was on stage, and the image they were projecting as constantly described in the book.

It’s actually really interesting to see the parallels and HUGE differences between their current and more dated songs. They almost had a fast paced hip-hop feel with all of their crazy clothes and insane behavior mostly due to Cocaine. The audience seemed buzzed and excited in the videos and the whole band was soaking up the vibe. They were constantly doing Coke on the road, always to get a buzz to perform, always relaxed and living life with a “Hakuna Matata” attitude. Everything is just a stage for Tony to perform on, and he’s loving the spotlight. As I reader I began to pick up on his swift decline downhill into the deep pockets of addiction and dependency as depicted in this section of the book. It is sad watching him struggle to stay above water, knowing that he can’t live without his fix, but he also feels that he must put other things before drugs.

This got me wondering why it’s so hard to break addictions, why it’s so hard to change your style completely; with anything in life, drugs, music, eating habits. Somewhere in the book I feel like there is going to be a click, a slide into a new aura of music and a new approach on life because it’s a book. I know that in life things don’t change by themselves. There has to be a force behind what people do, and sometimes what they don’t do. Kiedis’ constant need makes him look vulnerable and conniving in the book. A part of me hates him for almost quitting on his dreams due to Heroin and Cocaine , and another part of me feels bad for him because I recognize his weakness, his want to fill the empty void inside of him.

There is a saying that ‘People never change’ and I think that this is true because no matter what group or situation you are put in you are always you. I think we, as a civilization, are constantly trying to find who we are, but our core values and qualities are never shaken, we always maintain a steady knowledge of how we feel about things and people, nobody can change our sensitivity to the world. We are always going to have the same characteristics, I just think that we sometimes chose to mask and conceal parts of our identities to force ourselves into a certain category or state of being.

Perhaps the change in music and dependency I am waiting on in the book relate to Tony’s  self constraint and acceptance to change. When it comes to the band or how much coke he does, he is never willing to change. I think that in both the book and life people end up running into problems because they are not willing to admit that they were wrong, and their stubborn ways lead to only dead ends.

                  Then again, drugs are drugs, and they mess with your mind and body so you aren’t always you when your high so part of his addiction could be linked to his brain, and you can’t control your bodies wants.